terribibble | Ryslig IC Contact

Ryslig IC Contact

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, FIDDLEFORD HADRON MCGUCKET. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 011.23.581.321 * teslacoils has joined 011.23.581.321 >> teslacoils has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. If you wish to listen, type LISTEN01. <teslacoils> Lab hours are 10 AM to 6 PM Mon-Wed, 7 PM to 3 AM Thur-Fri, special appointments available. <teslacoils> I am no longer associated with the Fourth God. <teslacoils**> But I will answer any questions you might have about him with the honest truth.

<teslacoils> - main username
<novus> <ordo> <seclorum> <fulcrum> - anonymous usernames
<hadron> <thamnophis> <4eyes> - retired usernames
pixel image by CJ

Pythonmelon
voice work by Penny

knittinggiantbeanies

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That's 'cause I made it myself.

[So it turns out the mysterious Fiddleford guy is a rad-ass giant snake guy in a horrible shirt, as one does, apparently. Wrench doesn't feel the need to stare as much as he does, but he's also got Shit To Do. He's used to people staring at him, anyway, and the attention is always hilarious.

God, that shirt, though.]

But yeah, this is the thing. I know facial-slash-vocal recognition isn't likely to be much of a thing around here, considering the computers, buuuut I still wanna get this shit fixed. Something killed the fuck out of the guts of this thing and I think I'm gonna have to redo it all. Got a voice modulator and an LED display, mainly, and I think the main components might still be functional? Long as I connect everything up right. I can't really test it.

[And he has been having a hard time finding parts, obviously.]

So, tell me, doc. Is there hope?

I think there's a good chance for the basic functionality, yes. The lights, definitely. The voice modulator, probably. You might even be able to program in very basic facial recognition if you've got a good head for code, though I'm assumin' you'd have to do it from scratch.

Any parts you haven't been able to find, I could probably scrounge up.

[His walls are almost entirely plastered with shelves of parts, after all. Somewhere in that mess has to be what this guy needs.]

Or Gregory could find 'em for you. I've been teachin' him -- Gregory!

[From under one of the worktables trundles a tiny boxy robot with two arms ending in pincer claws at the end. It's made of mismatched metal and looks kind of adorably pathetic. It zooms forward until it bumps into Fiddleford's tail and then trills a synthetic 'hello!']

Mainly he's good for handin' over tools. He can tell the wrenches apart real good now.

Oh yeah, I can...

[He trails off when Gregory comes out. He's silent for a moment, and then...]

Holy shit I love him.

[If the mask's display was working right now, it'd be showing off heart eyes. Reminds him of ol' dearly departed Wrench Junior. Nowhere near as high-tech as he was, but, from the looks of it, very much not stolen off the back of a truck either.

He crouches down to get a better look at the robot. TIME FOR BONDING.]

Hey! I'm a Wrench too, so don't get too confused!

[He's probably confused the robot anyway. Well, with that done, he straightens up again, looking over at Fiddleford. He can play with the robot later. Maybe. Hopefully. He's gonna.]

Anyway! I coded it to start with, so it shouldn't be too hard to recreate, even if shit here's... lacking. It's a big fuckin' relief the prognosis is good, dude, seriously.

[When Wrench says 'hey', the robot responds with another tinny hello and raises its two little arms to bap gently at his face. There's nothing for it to grab onto but, look, it's gonna try.]

It's no trouble. I've found there's a way to do most anythin' here if you're resourceful enough. Me and my business partner, we're makin' virtual pets primarily and you'd think that'd be near-on impossible with the level of technology here but it's all about bein' clever with design choices.

[He holds up one of their extra-chunky tamagotchis -- his own, actually, because he made the mistake of getting really attached to their troubleshooting copy and now it's his son.]

[That has to be one of the most adorable things he's ever seen, ever. Here he is, still getting over the loss of Junior, and now he wants another robot. Well, maybe he can build one.

The last thing he expects the guy to produce, though, is a virtual pet. Wow.]

You make fuckin' Tamagotchis?

[He moves to get a better look. That is hilarious. And, wouldn't you know, that's also adorable.]

I was definitely not feeling optimistic when I saw the computers, but if all it takes is a little experimentation... I am all over it. Now, I just gotta master these dinosaurs, and I will be unstoppable.

[He's gonna hack an ascii dick into rsdos, probably.]

So you get a lotta market for these little guys? They gotta seem like crazy tech for some of these guys.

Oh, sure. It's been a little slow to start because we can't mass-produce but for a little startup we're doin' just fine for ourselves.

And see, the thing about the computers is the folks that make 'em are real resistant to changes, or lettin' anyone modify them. I gave it a try when I first arrived because there's plenty of fixes that are obvious right off the bat but there's a lot of walls in the way of changin' anything' significant.

I've heard they'll explode if you dig too deep. I haven't bothered tryin', I don't want to lose all my files.

Just lets you market 'em as 'artisanal' or something. Rich people eat that crap up.

[Oh? What's that he hears? A challenge?]

You know, when I first came here, someone told me I should work for the computer guys, but I don't trust anything that corporate-sounding farther than I can throw it. No wonder they're fuckin' dinosaurs. What's their game? They're just giving the shit away. It's-- [It's suspicious, is what it is.]

Surveillance? Blackmail? There's no way those trashy cameras can record anything on their own. I guess it could be recording audio, but I don't trust that quality to give anyone anything substantial. [This is truly a mystery, and he's quiet for a brief moment as he thinks about it.]

Well, I know computers, and I know explosions, and I know digging too deep for my own good and coming out on the other side covered in weird gross alien gunk. [A pause.] That's a metaphor. Anyway, maybe I'll take a hack at it.

Y'know if you do, I'd be awful interested in what you find out if it's anythin' substantial. Not that it'll change anythin' I'm doin' really but there's a lot about the inner workins of these things I'm curious about.

And if you find a permanent workaround I'd be very interested in it.

Yeah, man, definitely. The good of the people and everything, right? If they're holding out on shit we can use to make this shit suck less, we deserve that functionality. I'm gonna crack this thing wiiiide open. Hopefully I won't have to resort to the sledgehammer.

[He doesn't seem that hopeful in that case, actually. And speaking of... He waves a hand vaguely.]

...If you happen to, say, accidentally smash the shit out of your device with something that may or may not be sledge and hammery in order to get to the sweet sweet candy inside... do you think they provide replacements?

I -- I think they do? These things didn't come with a warranty so it's not like there's anythin' in writin' one way or another. I think you could probably convince them to give you a replacement.

[Surely with all the bullshit stuff monsters go through, a wrecked laptop is normal enough that a replacement would be workable? Especially if it was the first offense.]

They're free to new arrivals anyway so clearly they can afford to just give them away.

I was thinking that. They're giving them out to start with, and they're not gonna know how many people are gonna need 'em, so they're gonna have to have some extra lying around. Blame something monster related for the damage, and hey. It's plausible.

[This is the best idea ever, and maybe it'll give him a good glimpse into how these crappy things work in the first place. All the better to hack them with, my dear.]

Maybe it's about time someone tried some reverse engineering. Like an alien hovercraft.

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