Ryslig IC Contact

[terribibble]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, FIDDLEFORD HADRON MCGUCKET. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 011.23.581.321 *** teslacoils has joined 011.23.581.321 >> teslacoils has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. If you wish to listen, type LISTEN01. <teslacoils> Lab hours are 10 AM to 6 PM Mon-Wed, 7 PM to 3 AM Thur-Fri, special appointments available. <teslacoils> I am no longer associated with the Fourth God. <teslacoils> But I will answer any questions you might have about him with the honest truth.

<teslacoils> - main username
<novus> <ordo> <seclorum> <fulcrum> - anonymous usernames
<hadron> <thamnophis> <4eyes> - retired usernames
pixel image by CJ Pythonmelon
voice work by Penny knittinggiantbeanies

Comments

[wrenchinald]

Just lets you market 'em as 'artisanal' or something. Rich people eat that crap up.

[Oh? What's that he hears? A challenge?]

You know, when I first came here, someone told me I should work for the computer guys, but I don't trust anything that corporate-sounding farther than I can throw it. No wonder they're fuckin' dinosaurs. What's their game? They're just giving the shit away. It's-- [It's suspicious, is what it is.]

Surveillance? Blackmail? There's no way those trashy cameras can record anything on their own. I guess it could be recording audio, but I don't trust that quality to give anyone anything substantial. [This is truly a mystery, and he's quiet for a brief moment as he thinks about it.]

Well, I know computers, and I know explosions, and I know digging too deep for my own good and coming out on the other side covered in weird gross alien gunk. [A pause.] That's a metaphor. Anyway, maybe I'll take a hack at it.

[terribibble]

Y'know if you do, I'd be awful interested in what you find out if it's anythin' substantial. Not that it'll change anythin' I'm doin' really but there's a lot about the inner workins of these things I'm curious about.

And if you find a permanent workaround I'd be very interested in it.

[wrenchinald]

Yeah, man, definitely. The good of the people and everything, right? If they're holding out on shit we can use to make this shit suck less, we deserve that functionality. I'm gonna crack this thing wiiiide open. Hopefully I won't have to resort to the sledgehammer.

[He doesn't seem that hopeful in that case, actually. And speaking of... He waves a hand vaguely.]

...If you happen to, say, accidentally smash the shit out of your device with something that may or may not be sledge and hammery in order to get to the sweet sweet candy inside... do you think they provide replacements?

[terribibble]

I -- I think they do? These things didn't come with a warranty so it's not like there's anythin' in writin' one way or another. I think you could probably convince them to give you a replacement.

[Surely with all the bullshit stuff monsters go through, a wrecked laptop is normal enough that a replacement would be workable? Especially if it was the first offense.]

They're free to new arrivals anyway so clearly they can afford to just give them away.

[wrenchinald]

I was thinking that. They're giving them out to start with, and they're not gonna know how many people are gonna need 'em, so they're gonna have to have some extra lying around. Blame something monster related for the damage, and hey. It's plausible.

[This is the best idea ever, and maybe it'll give him a good glimpse into how these crappy things work in the first place. All the better to hack them with, my dear.]

Maybe it's about time someone tried some reverse engineering. Like an alien hovercraft.