terribibble | Ryslig IC Contact

Ryslig IC Contact

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, FIDDLEFORD HADRON MCGUCKET. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 011.23.581.321 * teslacoils has joined 011.23.581.321 >> teslacoils has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. If you wish to listen, type LISTEN01. <teslacoils> Lab hours are 10 AM to 6 PM Mon-Wed, 7 PM to 3 AM Thur-Fri, special appointments available. <teslacoils> I am no longer associated with the Fourth God. <teslacoils**> But I will answer any questions you might have about him with the honest truth.

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[It's a good two, three minutes before Ford responds.]

Fiddleford. She's She's a kid.

you think i don't know that? so was the girl who bit me in half. so was the boy who threw a molotov cocktail down my throat

don't you dare try and argue morality with me right now

you of all people

Fiddleford, I didn't come here to fight. I just wanted to know why someone would say something so /horrendous/ about you. I suppose I have my answer. [God knows it's not the one he wanted, but there's no helping that.]

i'm not proud of a lot of the things i've had to do here to survive. but i've worked hard to build a life here and i was not goin to let someone ruin it, stanford, because lord knows i am sick of havin to rebuild my life over from the ground up because someone else got it into their head to ruin what i had

i'd've talked to her and asked her to undo what she did without a fight if she'd let me. lord knows i try to be good and i try to be civil but that doesn't get you anywhere in this place

I'm usually the first person to defend the relativity of morality, but there's still a /line/ Fiddleford. There's a line, and you crossed it. And that's It's not OKAY but it's understandable. I can see where you're coming from. I can see why you did what you did. What I don't understand is why you don't seem the least bit sorry about it.

do you not understand where you are

do you not understand what we all have to do to live

of course i'm sorry for it. i'm sorry for all the awful things i've had to do since last february. if i had a choice do you really think i'd be fine with killin and eatin another human being every couple of weeks just to keep control of my own sanity? but i can't just sit around feelin bad about it like that's goin to change anythin

jesus christ stanford it's not as cut and dry as you want it to be

You know, I'm having a hard time believing that? If you were sorry you wouldn't be excusing yourself. You wouldn't try to /justify/ what you've done. Your first response when asked if you killed a /teenage girl/ wouldn't be to explain why it was called for. I don't like this, Fiddleford. I don't like what this place has done to you. You're better than this.

oh you can fuck right off

[When he's typing direct thought-to-text his filter breaks down, just a little. And anyway Ford's one of the people he doesn't feel so bad swearing at, especially now when Ford's had the gall to come to him just to try and play holier-than-thou. He's tired. He's frustrated. He's died three times in the past couple of weeks, and he's not ruling out more considering people are still angry about the general state of the peninsula. He doesn't have time for Ford Pines to try and make him feel bad.]

she filled my workshop with pure concentrated demonic evil when she didn't know me from adam and then she ripped my damn head off for tryin to ask her to undo it so i could have one normal thing in this goddamn hellhole i am not the only one at fault here get off your goddamn high horse i hope you fall so far you break your neck

Edited 2017-04-13 07:25 (UTC)

[Ford has heard this man swear all of maybe six times in his entire life, and never once was it directed towards him.]

[To say he's a little shocked would be an understatement.]

You don't mean that. Or maybe you do. I shouldn't keep assuming you're anything like the Fiddleford back in my own dimension - but I'm going to. I'm going to keep reminding you that you're better than this. I'm going to keep holding you to a higher standard because I know the person you're supposed to be and this isn't it. I'm not going to pretend I know what you've been through, but you can't let this place keep changing you. I know where that road leads, Fiddleford. You don't want to go down it. You don't want to wake up one day and not recognize the person in the mirror.

the person i'm supposed to be

i know the person you want me to be and it's a man who does what you tell him to and lets you run him ragged because you think of him as any other piece of lab equipment

i am never goin back to bein under your thumb no matter how hard you try and put me there

That's what you're taking away from all this? Fiddleford I don't want you to be my lapdog, I want you to be /you./ This isn't you. None of this is. You look and sound exactly like kindest, most soft-hearted man I've ever known but you don't /act/ like him and it it scares the hell out me. I don't want you to lose yourself. You've already lost so much because of me. I can't just stand by and let you lose what little you have left. Not when it's something you can never get back.

Edited 2017-04-13 08:35 (UTC)

[It takes a while for him to respond. He starts a lot of different responses, each angrier and less coherent than the last, before deleting them all and beginning again.]

i am doin everythin in my power to keep hold of my humanity. i eat so i can stay sane. i work hard to beat down my snake brain. i am doin my level best to reconcile who i want to be with who i have to be to survive in a very bad situation and frankly i dont appreciate you comin in here and tellin me i'm not doin it up to your standards when i am already workin myself to exhaustion just to keep goin day to day

That isn't what I

[He stops himself right there, takes a moment to read back through their exchange. After giving it a quick run through, he promptly feels like an ass - this isn't the first time he's assumed there was only one way to interpret something he said, and considering his track record, it undoubtedly won't be the last.]

Christ that's exactly what it looks like isn't it I said before I'm not any good at this sort of thing. At least I can rest assured I haven't made a liar out of myself.

[Alright, how to summarize everything he means in a way that Fiddleford will understand...No, seriously, how. He has no idea.]

I didn't mean to accuse you of not trying hard enough. Believe me, I'm the last person who would ever question your work ethic. It's just It's jarring, Fiddleford, seeing how much this place has changed you. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that you could ever be brought so low. I didn't /want/ to. Then you went and proved wrong all the things I had accepted as fundamental truths and now I I'm a little shaken up. If that wasn't already obvious. I don't know what to tell you, Fiddleford. I don't like what's going on and I want to fix it but I don't know how. I don't know why I thought dropping all this in your lap would help in that regard, but here we are.

[He pauses, unsure if he should really send such an unruly stream of consciousness. He feels like he should edit something out, make things shorter and more concise, but - well, if he's learned anything about communication it's that the less specific he is, the more room there is for doubt.

[Despite his reservations, he hits send. Then, as an afterthought, he adds one last sentence just to wrap the whole mess up.]

I just want to make things /right/.

[That almost sways him. It reads so earnest. Maybe if he just --

No. No, no, no. He can't trust Ford Pines. He can't let himself get burned again. He can't be so generous it kills him. This is all finely-crafted manipulative bullshit designed to get Ford back into his good graces so he can go back to draining Fiddleford dry and he won't, he won't, he won't.]

yknow despite everythin it hasn't all been bad. i got off the ray. i have a home. i have a business. i have friends and i have a partner i could see myself spendin the rest of my life with and i don't

i don't need you to fix this.

i don't need you.

[There's nothing more for him to say here. He should just stop responding, leave things be. With just four words, Fiddleford effectively put an end to the conversation.]

[And yet Ford just can't bring himself to let things end right there. Not because he wants to get in the last word, but because - well, he already said it himself. He can't make things right, but maybe he can at least make things a little less wrong.]

I know you don't. Maybe you never have. At least not like I needed you. I know things can never go back to the way they were. I'd never think to ask you to stand by me the way you did back then, but if there ever comes a time when you want me to return the favor - Just remember you've got a thirty year old IOU to cash in. Whatever you need, no questions asked.

[It's a long time before he responds. Then, finally:]

i'll keep that in mind.

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aaand i'd say this is about done