Affection nor sentiment nor emotion do not respond to math, and cannot be explained away throughout reason in however many words. The insipid poetry I once attempted to write to my young betrothed, and promptly destroyed without sending, stands in testament to that.
There is and was every practical reason in the world why Narcissa and I were perfect together. We understood each other for our breeding and backgrounds, we were a social match, it pleased our families, it made good financial sense, we could be expected to desire a household together of similar values and want much the same out of life in terms of children and other considerations, and together we were both considered intelligent, cultured and attractive. It all spells out quite well on paper.
Absolutely none of these covers how, after so many years, I feel when we are alone together. Or when I hear the sound of her voice, or see her smile. The things that her mere presence does to me.
That is not the mind. That is the soul. Dangerously powerful and to some extent forever unknowable. But, in its own way, perhaps the only part of us that can ever be considered truly - for lack of any other word - pure.
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There is and was every practical reason in the world why Narcissa and I were perfect together. We understood each other for our breeding and backgrounds, we were a social match, it pleased our families, it made good financial sense, we could be expected to desire a household together of similar values and want much the same out of life in terms of children and other considerations, and together we were both considered intelligent, cultured and attractive. It all spells out quite well on paper.
Absolutely none of these covers how, after so many years, I feel when we are alone together. Or when I hear the sound of her voice, or see her smile. The things that her mere presence does to me.
That is not the mind. That is the soul. Dangerously powerful and to some extent forever unknowable. But, in its own way, perhaps the only part of us that can ever be considered truly - for lack of any other word - pure.